Episode 50: Guild of Adventurers Transcript

INTRO:

Hey everyone, Alex C. Telander here. Little bit of housekeeping before we get today’s episode started. Firstly, thank you so much for continuing to listen to Ostium. With everyone going on right now, Team Ostium hope it provides a nice warm light during these pretty bleak times. That being said, we will be going on our first mid-season hiatus with the release of the next episode after this one. I want to give all our future crossover shows every opportunity to get their side of the recording done, but I also understand this is really hard right now. So we’ll be going on a three month break and returning with Episode 52 on September 6th. We also want send out a massive thank you to all our Patrons who continue to support the show, without you we wouldn’t be able to pay our actors, or have a website, or many other things that keep the lights on for the Ostium Network. So thank you. And Team Ostium wants to extend an extra large thank you and warm welcome to our newest patron, Nse. Okay, enough chitchat, let’s get this milestone started: I without further ado I give you Ostium Episode 50: Guild of Adventurers.

Scene: 1 – The Luminarium (Dark)

(Monica arrives in the city of dorestir to nothing but blackness, standing the basement level hidden section of the “guild of adventurers” – the luminarium)

MONICA

Fucking great, it’s pitch black. [Beat] Hellooooooo?

SOUND: “hello” echoes and silence

MONICA

[Pause for response] Nothing… I’ve got a light here somewhere.

SOUND: lighter being “flicked on” and lights

MONICA

Oh… great… now I can see I’m in a fucking stone room. [Beat] HELLOO?!

SOUND: “hello” echoes and silence

MONICA

[Sigh] Let’s assume no one’s coming to my rescue – that’d fit with the rest of my life. So, Monica, you can’t be in here for no reason, let’s figure it out.

Scene: 2 – Interior Guild Hall

(The guild hall has been in a state of disrepair for decades. now after helping lady Illiana Alvingham defeat her evil brother Artemis, she has instigated a time of repair and renovation of this dilapidated building)

SOUND: Sawing, hammering, general “work”

GRINFOLD

[Content] Ah Lt Dan, can you imagine in only a few more weeks this whole Guild hall will hardly be recognizable.

LT DAN

Oh I know Captain! It’s definitely a step up from when I first joined!

GRINFOLD

[Laughing] Me too, me too…. Not in my many years here have I seen the guild looking so amazing. Ahhh, Daniella… Um, I mean, Lieutenant.

LT DAN

It’s OK captain, I’m not a stickler for titles.

GRINFOLD

I suppose you’re right, maybe when it’s just us, you can call me Marcus.

LT DAN

I would be honoured sir.

GRINFOLD

Marcus.

LT DAN

Marcus. [Awkward Silence] Well the stone masons are about to start! These rather worn flagstones will be smooth and shiny in no time!

GRINFOLD

True enough, let’s not stand in their way!

SOUND: Stone cutting, chipping

Scene: 3 – The Luminarium

SOUND: Muffled stone cutting, chipping

MONICA

What the fuck is that noise? [Beat] Hello?! Can anybody hear me?

SOUND: Hitting stone wall

MONICA

This is just fucking great. I get to a new place and it turns out to be a dead end. FUCK!

SOUND: Hitting stone wall repeatedly

SOUND: Stone wall shifting

MONICA

Hey! This wall moves!

SOUND: footsteps fading

Scene: 4 – Interior Guild Hall

SOUND: Continued stone work

GRINFOLD

So [pause for stone work] how long do you think they’ll be working on the flooring?

LT DAN

Assuming there’s not [pause for stone work] unforeseen delays? It wouldn’t take them more than a day or two.

GRINFOLD

Maybe [pause for stone work] I should take everyone away for a few days [pause for stone work], until the noise subsides.

LT DAN

That may be a good idea Cap – ah, Marcus, we could always see if Lady’s Illiana’s manor has a spare room or two? Maybe some R&R is just the thing we all need… [cut off]

SOUND: Wilhelm scream

SOUND: stonework crumbling and collapsing

SOUND: running footsteps

GRINFOLD

[Panting] What happened?!

LT DAN

It looks like the floor just gave way!

GRINFOLD

Dammit! Is everyone OK?

LT DAN

Yes, I think it just surprised everyone.

GRINFOLD

Good, but I know Setta won’t be happy! [Beat] Lieutenant!

LT DAN

Yes Marcus?

GRINFOLD

Captain now Lieutenant. Can you please go and find Setta and apologize? I’m sure she won’t be happy about rubble ending up in her tunnels.

LT DAN

[Chuckles] Yes Captain, I’ll go an [cuts off]

MONICA

[Muffled Shouting] Helloooo?!

LT DAN

Did you hear that? It’s coming from the hole.

GRINFOLD

Lieutenant, a torch.

SOUND: Flint on stone, lighting

LT DAN

Here Captain.

GRINFOLD

It looks like [beat] a staircase? Heading downwards! [Confused] This isn’t the sewer system.

MONICA

[Muffled Shouting] Is there anyone up there?

GRINFOLD

[Shouting] We’re coming, hold on!


MONICA

[Muffled – partly to herself] Oh thank fuck.

SOUND: Stepping down the staircase

GRINFOLD

Hmmm, a door… at the end of a staircase… underneath the Guild… [Shouting] Are you OK in there?

MONICA

[Muffled] Not particularly! Can you get this door open?

SOUND: Door rattling

GRINFOLD

[Shouting] It’s locked on this side!

MONICA

[Muffled] I was hoping you’d have the key!

GRINFOLD

[Shouting] I know just the thing. [beat] Mercer?!

SOUND: Robotic footsteps getting closer and stop

MERCER

Captain?

GRINFOLD

Get down here, I need you to open a door.

SOUND: Robotic Footsteps

MERCER

Captain?

GRINFOLD

It’s locked Mercer, I don’t have a key, and there’s someone trapped inside… Can you please, ah, smash it in with extreme prejudice.

MERCER

[Serious] When this door opens it can never be shut again.

GRINFOLD

I’m sure we can make another one.

SOUND: Mercer turning

MERCER

That, is not what I meant Captain… 

SOUND: Mercer turning

SOUND: “powering up”

SOUND: Door contact and smashing

MERCER

Can you feel it Captain?

GRINFOLD

What are you talking about?

MERCER

The calling, can you feel the calling?

MONICA

[Coughing from the dust]

GRINFOLD

Not now Mercer! Are you OK in there?

MONICA

[slight coughing] I am now.

SOUND: Monica Stepping out of room

MONICA

[To Mercer] Woah! You’re a big one.

MERCER

And you have opened the Luminarium and sparked the beacon into the darkness.

MONICA

Is she… it? Always like this?

GRINFOLD

Always… let’s get you out of here where we can talk.

SOUND: Footsteps up staircase and into guild hall

GRINFOLD

Welcome to the Guild of Adventurers… I didn’t catch your name?

MONICA

Monica. And they called you a Captain?

GRINFOLD

THE Captain – Captain Marcus Grinfold… your name however is a strange one… you’re clearly not from Dorestir?

MONICA

[Chuckling] How can you tell?

GRINFOLD

The name, the clothes and, most importantly, the random appearing in a previously unknown sealed basement room in my Guild hall… you’re not some kind of… [trails off].

MONICA

Kind of what?

GRINFOLD

[Comically] Undead vampire lying in wait for centuries to drain the very life from our very beings?

MONICA

I fucking hope not! [Laughing]

GRINFOLD

[Laughing] Well, that’s settled then, but, how did you get down there and into MY guild?

MONICA

There’s these doors.

GRINFOLD

In a sealed room?

MONICA

OK THAT’S a tricky one, I don’t think the door, um, exists on your side.

GRINFOLD

That sounds like a very impractical door.

MONICA

Fucking tell me about it! [Sigh]

GRINFOLD

Can you at least tell me where you came from?

MONICA

I don’t suppose you’ve ever heard of Ostium?

GRINFOLD

No, but I can always check the library.

MONICA

Probably no point… on the topic of unlikely things, you haven’t had any other unfamiliar strangers come through of late?

GRINFOLD

I’m afraid not.

MONICA

Not surprised… [Longingly] I don’t know if I’ll ever find him…

GRINFOLD

I often find when I’m searching for something, looking within is the first step.

MONICA

Wow, that’s fucking deep.

GRINFOLD

But often true.

MONICA

Did you have something specific in mind, or do you often spout words of wisdom in times of need?

GRINFOLD

It’s probably easier to show you.

MONICA

Show me? Show me what?

GRINFOLD

There’s an orb and, um, let’s just say it might provide you with some inner clarity.

MONICA

Sure, what’ve I got to lose?

GRINFOLD

Follow me then. [Beat] Lieutenant?

LT DAN

[Distant, walking closer] Yes Captain?

GRINFOLD

The Lady Monica and I are just stepping out, keep an eye on things here.

LT DAN

Lady? Ah… Of course Captain… [Under her breath – bitterly] enjoy your walk with a random woman.

Scene: 5 – The Streets of Dorestir

MONICA

[Monologue] The Captain lead me out of the Guild Hall and the site outside reminded me of something from a fantasy movie. Lord of the Rings, or Game of Thrones or something like that. Cobblestone streets, carts pulling produce, a group of day drunks stumbling out of a tavern. It was certainly different from any place I’d been before, but at the same time, certain elements seemed almost . . . familiar.

SOUND: Sounds of the city of Dorestir

MONICA

[Monologue] We walked for a number of minutes, the Captain pointing out buildings here and there while we wound our way through streets and alleyways. The conversation moved onto my reasons for arriving in Dorestir, and naturally to Jake.

GRINFOLD

It sounds like he means a lot to you.

MONICA

More than I care to admit really.

GRINFOLD

It’s hard to admit how you feel for someone.

MONICA

That sounds like a loaded statement. Who have you got eyes for Captain?

GRINFOLD

[Sternly] No one…

MONICA

Ahh, the sweet sounds of denial… not just a river in Egypt.

GRINFOLD

Egypt?

MONICA

Never mind… Let me guess… Lt Dan? She certainly didn’t like the idea of the two of us heading out alone.

GRINFOLD

[Stumbling over the words] Ah, no, I mean, certainly not, she’s my subordinate.

MONICA

Hey, whatever gets you going, no judgement here.

GRINFOLD

Ah, thank goodness, we’re here!

Scene: 6 – The Memory Orb

MONICA

[Monologue] A nondescript wooden door, belonging to a nondescript building stood before us. The Captain opened the door and ushered me inside. The room was dark, except for a single light source in the centre, a blue light emanating from a small sphere and the Captain guided me over to it.

MONICA

[Trance-Like] It’s beautiful… can you… hear it?

GRINFOLD

Touch it… it can’t hurt you.

MONICA

[Trance-Like] Yes, I think I should.

MONICA

[Monologue] I don’t know what came over me, but I didn’t feel in danger, my instincts told me this sphere, this orb, wasn’t dangerous. So I reached out and as soon as my fingers made contact, the world around me changed.

SOUND: Space and time warping

MONICA

[Monologue] I was standing in a familiar place, the Captain next to me. I looked around and… I knew this place, sci-fi surroundings, red planet outside… The Martian base! And, hang on a minute, that’s me!

AUDIO: Ostium Episode 5 A.W.O.L (Insert dialogue from Ep5 time index 30:52 – 33:18)

SOUND: coming out of memory SFX

MONICA

What, the fuck, was that?

GRINFOLD

You tell me! All that metal, and what was that blackness?

MONICA

You, you could fucking see that?

GRINFOLD

Oh yes, we both experienced your memory… I am missing the necessary context, but I assume the gentlemen you so gracefully carried to bed, was Jake?

MONICA

Yes! So this sphere lets you see memories?

GRINFOLD

A memory orb, yes, not a common item in this city, but I find it does help to clarify the important things in life.

MONICA

So why did I see THAT memory?

GRINFOLD

Was there anything important in it?

MONICA

Only that it was the first time we’d sort-of-met.

GRINFOLD

Well, clearly that’s important to you!

MONICA

Can I use it again? There’s not some kind of radiation poisoning?

GRINFOLD

Other than eventual madness from overuse?

MONICA

Ahh, what?

GRINFOLD

[Chuckling] Nothing, just my little joke. [Beat] Just touch it again and it should show you more.

MONICA

Alright, here goes.

SOUND: memory orb SFX

MONICA

Oh, we’re in Ostium…

GRINFOLD

Seems nice – impressive clock tower.

MONICA

Shit! Look, that’s me, and Jake, we just kind of appeared there. Oh, this was just after the Anasazi…

AUDIO: Ostium Episode 16 Ancient Ones (Insert dialogue from Ep16 time index 28:22 – 30:21)

SOUND: memory orb SFX

GRINFOLD

[Cough] Um, that was a little awkward.

MONICA

[Laughing scornfully] you a little embarrassed by some carnal activities Captain?

GRINFOLD

Only when I’m reliving them as a part of someone else’s memory.

MONICA

Good point. I do miss him.

GRINFOLD

I can imagine.

MONICA

But I still don’t know what to do next.

GRINFOLD

You can always try again.

MONICA

OK – one last time… let’s see what you’ve got for me memory orb!

SOUND: MEMORY ORB SFX

AUDIO: Ostium Episode 26 Into the Black (Insert Monica monologue from EP26 time index 36:26 – 41:24)

SOUND: memory orb SFX

SOUND: Silence / heart beating

GRINFOLD

You’re never really alone Monica. I think that’s what these memories have been trying to tell you… Every memory you make, every chance you have to think back on who you are, where you’ve come from, and who you love, reminds you that you’re never alone.

MONICA

Thanks… I think I needed that. Thank you.

GRINFOLD

Anytime.

MONICA

Speaking of needing things. How would you feel about parting with this memory orb? Not that I think it’ll work where I’m going, but, it feels important.

GRINFOLD

I suppose I can lend it… to a friend.

MONICA

I can’t guarantee you’ll get it back… but I will take you up on the friend thing.

GRINFOLD

Then it’s a deal, but, how do you plan on getting home?

MONICA

Oh, I’m sure my door will be waiting for me.

Scene: 7 – Farewell Guild

MONICA

[Monologue] I tucked the memory orb in my pocket and we headed back through the winding streets of Dorestir, now late afternoon with the sun beginning to set. How long had I been here? We walked in silence, I could tell the Captain was processing what he’d seen in my memories, it was hard enough to have experienced them, let alone see them as an observer and try to make sense of them!

MONICA

[Monologue] We walked back into the Guild Hall, the large doors closing behind us. The hall was still lit by the setting sun outside, the rays of light coming down through a stained glass window in the roof directly over the staircase that lead to the chamber I had arrived in.

MONICA

[Monologue] I said my farewells to the hulking metallic frame of Mercer, who, despite having no controllable facial features seemed to manage a menacing glare with ease. I nodded at Lt Dan, who seemed to be trying to glare at me as hard as Mercer and I could tell she didn’t like what she thought of as competition for the Captain.

MONICA

Well, I’d better be off.

GRINFOLD

Yes, of course.

MONICA

Thanks for the memory orb!

GRINFOLD

Use it well, Monica, and good luck!

MONICA

Thanks… Marcus.

MONICA

[Monologue] I leaned in and gave the Captain a quick kiss on the cheek and Lt Dan looked like she was about to fucking explode. I’m such a bitch! Stepping down the stairwell I was back in the room I started in and, just as I thought, my door was there. I grabbed the handle, felt the weight of the orb in my pocket, opened the door, and stepped through.

Three adventurers travel the world of Kalanthus, uncovering hidden mysteries lost to the ravages of time in this story-driven, D&D based podcast.

While I have played many a D&D campaign in my younger years, I have yet to fully immerse myself in the world of actual play podcasts, fortunately my talented sound guys of Hail and Well Met Podcasts happen to do exactly this for fun in their great show. So if you’re looking for the right D&D podcast to get started with, and you enjoyed this crossover, then you’d better start at the beginning of Guild of Adventurers.

This episode was written by Tarran Merlo and Mike Nye.

The part of Monica is performed by Georgia Mckenzie.

All other parts are performed by Tarran Merlo.

Sound design was done by the same guys who wrote this episode, Hail and Well Met Podcasts. Check out more of their great work at hailandwellmetpodcasts.com.

The Ostium theme song was composed by Chris Fletcher.

Music featured in this episode is: “Arcadia,” “Lightless Dawn,” “Lobby Time,” “Lord of the Land,” “Rites,” “Symmetry,” “Higher,” “Variation on Egmont,” “Verano Sensual,” and “Wholesome” all by Kevin MacLeod. And “Cellophane Sam” by Looking Back. All under a Creative Commons license.

For a link to a transcript of this episode please check the show notes.

We’re all going through very hard times right now and we wanted to thank you first for listening to this episode. We hope you enjoyed it and we hope it provided a little merriment to your day. If you are perhaps interested in supporting the show, the best way to do that is through Patreon. Everything we make primarily goes to paying our actors for all the Ostium Network shows. We’ve got more shows planned, including an anthology series, and we want to be able to pay and support our actors. So if you can spare as little as $2 a month, that will go a long way, and also grant you access to a ton of bonus material. Just head on over to patreon.com/ostiumpodcast.

Our next episode arrives in a fortnight.